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So its been awhile since I’ve updated.

Mostly because its’s been super busy. With Douglas being gone and just my whole world being turned upside down…its been kinda hectic.

I’ve been ok don’t get me wrong. I just have had a hard time adjusting.

But that dosn’t matter right now.

One of my dearest and closest friends has come to visit && I couldn’t be happier at this moment (unless Douglas miracuously showed up but thats not going to happen)

She needed to get away somewhere and I needed someone from my past to show up and help me out.

Worked out perfectly.

She’s been helping me out so much and at the same time I’ve been able to just be myself.

I missed her

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She was trying to eat my nose…I was scared

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Yah. She’s pretty much awesome

Who Am I?

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you’ve done.
Not because of what I’ve done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,

And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.

Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me

-Casting Crowns “Who Am I”

This song really does speak to me on such a personal level.
God has watched me make so many SO many mistakes in my life, yet he still smiles upon me and loves me regardless.

Its amazing to wrap my mind around it.
He is so great and yet he loves me. The smallest speck on this planet. That he had a plan for me before I was born. He knew me in my mothers womb.

Just seriously stop && think about it.

Everything we do. The crazy day to day drama. The major hardcore sins, everything we do God still loves us. His love is amazing.

Hearing this song over and over.
::sigh::

It’s a good wake up call.

Life isn’t about me.
It isn’t about what I want.

I can be strong thru this. I know I can. God has been answering my prayers && has helped me be strong.

Yes I miss my husband. Yes I have cried. But thru God’s grace I’ve been going on with my day to day life && not stopping.

He has kept me in his arms while I walk thruout my day and hasn’t let go.
I need to stay in that faith that He will take care of the 3 of us even though we are seperated.

I pray for my husband every night.

I do miss him. So very very much. Some moments it feels unbearable, but then I pray and God listens && comes to my rescue (honestly he never left)

I’m going to be ok.

Dinner tonight is gonna be easy peasy because I really didn’t feel like going all out for just Tobin && I to eat.
He hasn’t been eating a whole lot anyways. I think that means another growth spurt is coming…joy ^_^

So as the majority of you all know Today Douglas left.
I’m surprisngly doing a whole lot better then I thought I would.

I cried a little…not surprisng at all but hey just thought I’d throw that out there.

&&
I’ve been coping very well so far.
I think its gonna hit me tonight when I go to bed alone.
=/

But we did have a good time last night and the past weekend has been great family time along with seeing some friends.

Plus I got to take oodles of pictures of me && my hubby so that was a bonus.
Dinner is almost done so I’m gonna post some pics then be off on mymerry way.

I’ll update probably tomorrow…or someting

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Douglas && I on Friday

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Tobin && I on Sunday (its a bit blurry but I love it)

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Douglas took this picture of Tobin && I love it

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Douglas && I last night.

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Douglas took this picture this morning in the car before he left.
One of my faves even though I look like utter CRAP (yayy crying and popping a zit that morning mehhhh)

I love my husband.
Seriously. He acts like he dosn’t care. But by golly he does
^_^

We were talking about ways to keep me motivated to clean the house and not mope around all day and night while he’s gone at basic,
I have my buddies && I will  be visiting Jackson once in awhile (sooner then ya think since I need to get the brakes repalced && they are waranteed in Jackson)

So I jokingly  made the comment about getting a Wii.

I’ve wanted one since they came out

&&
We actually got one!!

So yayyyy me

The only rule is that I have to make sure the house is picked up and laundry is done (or working on being done) before I turn the machine on.

Oh and Tobin cmes first (but thats a duhhh)

^_^

So wii would like to play!!

Sunday
The day of rest
The day of worship

Douglas was baptized this morning at church.
I cried
This is something I’ve been praying about since I’ve came back to God.
When our marriage was struggling Elizabeth let me borrow a great book (which I still need to get back to her)
It’s called “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian

I never really thought to pray for my husbands salvation. Which just shows how selfish I am truely. So I started praying for him. Especially when things got tough.
I also prayed to God to change me, to make me a better wife, to understand him and to be a light to him.

I don’t think it was me fully. God was amazing and placed some great Godly men into Douglas’ life. David && Phil mainly. Those guys are great.
Doug started going to “breakfast with the boys” on Saturday mornings thanks to Dave.
Then Dave invited him to a bible study with Phil && him.
That really started opening Doug’s eyes to God’s word.

Doulgas wasn’t going to tell me he was joining the church && getting baptized until today. But I found out, mainly becaues its hard to have a private word with Douglas at church when we are inseperable lol.

But today he stood up there with about about 6 other people. Some were re-affirming their faith and becoming actual members of the church (like Dave) and then there were others who were professing their faith for the first time (like Douglas and a few others)

Doug was the only one to be baptized today.
Here is a scripture reference I found on baptism;

1 Peter 3:21

21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ,

I can not express the exact feeling when Douglas was professing his faith, nor can I tell you the feeling when I watched Pastor Rodger lay his hands on him and baptize him.

I cried.
&&
I’m not ashamed.

I am beyond proud of my husband. I knew he has been a believer for awhile, our marriage has been getting amazingly better ever since he started…but watching him profess his faith, gave me such peace.

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The man laying his hands on Douglas is Pastor Rodger. The other man is Phil. I’m so glad we met Dave && Phil.

I also love how in the picture there is the American Flag.
This is who Douglas is now.

Not only a solider of the United States Army.
But a Solider of God.

On a totally diffrent note. I watched Prince Caspian.
I love it.
No, it does not totally go along with the book, but what movie does?

I loved it more then the first one. I cried (no shocker there)
&&
Also am in LOVE with the song The Call by Regina Spektor.
It was in the last scene.

I have downloaded it and have listened to it for the past hour.

Its beautifully composed && her voice is stunning in this particular song.

The lyrics also make me cry.

Gosh today has been emotional.

Seriously listen to the song.

Been awhile

Its been a few days since I’ve posted anything.

We were in Jackson for a week and it was just alot of running around with our heads cut off.
It was great, but I’m glad we are home and relaxing…somewhat.

Tobin has a cold which sucks so bad because he’s supposed to have surgery Thursday but now they will probably reschedule it because of his cold. They won’t go anywhere near him with anestisa when he’s hacking up gunky stuff.

Tonight we had a “grownup” part over at the DeKrygers. It was a blast! We had a potlucky type dinner and then we played CatchPhrase for about 3 hours.

Its sad but that is the type of fun that really makes me happy now-a-days.

I guess I’ve changed.

^_^
I’ll update more later. I borrowed Prince Caspian from Dawn && Now I really want to watch it!!!

Groupies Vs. Boobies

Ok so we have all seen the commercials for the Kidz Bop cd’s
(kinda like the Now Cd’s but with “kid friendly lyrics”)

Key word is KID FRIENDLY!

Well I was watcihng the commercial for the Kidz Bop 15 && saw that they had the song
“When I Grow Up” by the Pussycat Dolls.

Made me think…”how are they going to make those lyrics “kid friendly”?

So I went to their OFFICAL site && listened to a clip of the song.

These are the original lyrics from the pussycat dolls

“When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies, When I grow up I wanna see the world drive nice cars, I wanna have boobies

*I do love this song. Its a great song to do Zumba or Sizzle to…just not entirely great for little ears”

Here is what I’m  hearing (I can’t find lyrics ANYWHERE…if you stumble across them feel free to correct me)

“When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies when I grow up i wanna see theworld drive nice cars I wanna have groupies

Seriously? GROUPIES…is that better then Boobies??
I wouldn’t care if my pre-teen wanted boobies whenshe grew up. I’d be super concerened if she wanted GROUPIES

I dunno.

I was thinking about getting some of the CD’s cuz’ Tobin really likes the music on the raido && I was worried about the lyrics at his age….now I wonder about Kidz Bop