My house is never organized.
I know i just say that I don’t care…but I really do.

I want to have a home that my husband can be proud of.
Something that when he comes home he can relax && not worry about anything.

Until about 3 mins ago we couldn’t even use it.
I’ve got dinner all planned out && I’m trying to get it done before Doug gets home (whenever that  may be)

For some reason I’m really freaking out about this.

I HAVE to get the house clean and stuff done before he gets here.

So off I go



My son is a fish. I swear I got impregnanted by a merman who looked alot like Doug.

Yesterday we went to the family swim at the gym. It was so much fun. I’m not really that into actual swimming but I LOVE playing in the water.
Tobin was very confused when we got there && we didn’t go to the treehouse (daycare) instead I took him into the locker room with me. He just kept looking over his shoulder like…”um mom I’m supposed to be over there”
So I got him ready first (just easier that way) and he just started trying to open all the lockers, wasn’t until he saw a lady do her combination that he realized how to work it.

After we were dressed && showered we went to the pool. Tobin got this excited look on his face the minute he saw the pool. Started squirming and wanted down.

We found a life jacket for him (which wasn’t what he wanted at all)
Got into the pool. Doug took a bit to catch up with us (he chats worse then a woman does in the locker room)

Tobin was very timid at first. Kinda clingy and wouldn’t let go. Then he saw a girl a little older then him playing with some pool toys (they provide them) and she started playing catch with him. That made him giggle && want to move around a little bit more.
So I made him stand on the underwater bench && he walked along on that for awhile then toyed with the idea of letting one foot float off the bench.

Then all of a sudden just started jumping off thebench into my arms.

Scared the crap out of me the fist time he did it!

But he jsut had a blast jumping continuously and kickin his feet.
We saw a little girl a few months older then Tobin literally swimming underwater (no jacket just goggles) it was INSANE!

Later we found a basket ball and the net to go with it.
Tobin LOVED being lifted into the air so he could “slam dunk” the ball into the water.


After awhile we didn’t even have to hold his jacket anymore. We just stood very very close by. He was kickin && balancing very well. I think if they offer a toddler swimming class I’m going to enroll Tobin. I think he’d enjoy it.

So after drinking some cholorine water and swimming for over an hour Tobin was starting to get tired so we left.

Getting him back into his normal clothes was a fun…expierence I’ll tell ya what.
He wanted to stay in his swimmies. Not understanding that it may be warm in the pool area…but its NOT that warm outside. (this was at night time so it was a bit chilly)

We went home && Tobin && I took a shower (which was great because usually he hates getting his hair wet…but by this time he was still wet from the pool so he didn’t mind.

After dinner he went straight to bed. He did play for a bit but didn’t cry or aything.

I think we will be going to the family swim more often.

That was totally better then working out


So Angela invited me to join this group on facebook today.
Called 40days of prayer for our husbands.

I joined it while it was on day 6…but I’m still going to do it every day anyways.

Today I’m supposed to;

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for choosing you above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner. One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget—a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!”

I’m also supposed to pray for Doug to grow spiritually.

I think I’m gonna like doing this.

On a side note;
Doug officially signed paperwork yesterday (Friday the 5th) to become a United States Solider.

He leaves for basic training (boot camp) on March 3rd. That should take about 9-10 weeks. He will be stationed in Ft. Benning Georgia
After that he goes for his AIT to Ft.Lenardwood Missouri.
That should take 9weeks.

So a total of 19-20weeks. I’ll be staying up here in Fremont.

Until he comes home to get me.

Could use some prayers

Bugger Butt


My little man. ♥

Tonight was really the first night I’ve had him all to myself with no help. Douglas isback in Lansing (again) this time tomorrow he will have been sworn into the Army. ::woot::

So far its been a great day. Not very prodcutive but fun bonding none the less. Usually I kinda just push Tobin off on Douglas because I’ mtoo tired or I don’t feel like it…

Not today.

I really regret shoving him on Douglas now. I’m irked that I missed out on some fun moments with him.

Today Tobin&& I did dishes.. I rarely if ever will do dishes.
But tonight it was so much fun!
Tobin “rinsed” the dishes for me (I pretty  much just put his rubber duckies in the sink && did the dishes myself) but he was so fun splashing around and taking all the bubbles out of my water and putting in on his side of the sink.

I really want to become a better mother.
Stop spendng so much time on the computer and really be with my son.

He really is  my pride && joy. Reminds me of his dad on so many leves. That little cheesy grin of his.

So yah. new resolution. Spend more time with son.



My husband. My best friend. My lover. My fighter. My everything.

Yesterday Douglas got a phone call from the recruiters. He’s officially in.

For those that don’t know the story quite yet here we go;
Doug was working for 84Lumber, going on his 3rd year. On October 20th 2008 Doug went to work early (as he did every morning since as co-manager he had to open the gate for everyone else), this morning someone from corporate was there waiting for him. Doug knew what was going on. This was his 3rd store closing. The man asked Doug if he knew why the man was there and Doug just handed him his keys.

On a side note…this was our 2nd wedding anniversary. Not the best way to celebrate. =/

So anywho, Doug and his co-workers still had to work for the rest of the week cleaning up the store and shipping all the inventory to Grand Rapids.
They offered Doug another job. It was a demotion to MT (manager trainee) and a huge cut in pay, plus they wouldn’t pay for our moving expenses or help us find a place to live. Douglas told them he needed to talk to his wife about it first before making any decisions. They told him to call by Tuesday (this was Friday).
Well Tuesday rolled around. Douglas called them to talk more details about the job, and they had already filled the position with a brand new hire…they are shutting down stores left and right, laying off workers just to go and hire a brand new worker!? Ugh I was ticked.

So Doug has been unemployed for 4 months now.I love having him home, but we do need the income.

Doug had been trying to get into the National Guard before 84Lumber closed down. That would have been PERFECT. He could do his training in Whitehall (about 30mins from  here), still work at 84 and we could still live in Fremont. Win win situation.

But, National Guard wouldn’t take him because of some medical issues.
So Doug tried going full force Army.

It took us 3 months to hear back from them && get everything situated. But Doug is in.

Thursday (the 5th) we go down to the recruiters and pick out a job. Then I get to leave with Tobin and Douglas gets to go down to Lansing and swear in and sign his life away, or so to speak.

I’m beyond nervous, anxious and every other emotion you can think of. But, I want to be that supportive wife && be there for my husband as he works hard to provide for us.

I do love him with all my heart.
I just want him to myself. I’m selfish like that.


I’m not sure what I’m feeling….numb currently

Love Never Fails

Havn’t updated this page in a few days. Not sure where exactly this is going to go. I don’t think I really have any Scripture that has been speaking to me lately.

I did go out and buy the movie Fireproof, havn’t watched it yet. I’m waiting for Tobin to go to bed tonight so we can watch the movie without distractions.

Onthe subject of marriage, I am so happy where mine has come this past year.

This time last year Doug && I were really going through a very difficult period in our marriage. Fighting all the time, not trusting each other and not happy.

We have both brought God into our lives again && it is AMAZING how much that helps.

We have been going to a study on the book “Song of Soloman” in the bible. The class is every sunday at church && I really love it!
God really did write the perfect guide to the perfect relationship.
He wants us to be happy.

I’ve noticed a SIGNIFICANT diffrenec in our marriage since I’ve been praying for Douglas, me and our marriage.  Before I was doing everything that I thought would help….when in reality only God knows what we need.

He has shown us the way.

Two and a half years of marriage && I’ve learned to not only love my husband but RESPECT him.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

** 1 Corinthians 13 v4-8

I love that last part

Love never fails

I trust in the Lord God with  my marriage and I thank  him daily for the love that he has givin Douglas && I.

I pray for my friends, those who don’t have love for God for he is the most amazing personification of love there is. That verse is the epitomy of God’s love for us. His love is flawless there is absolutely nothing that could soil his love for us.

He loves us more then we could ever love another human being.

It makes you think dosn’t it?


I havn’t felt this lonely in  a long long time.

Douglas is gone away to Lansing for some Army stuff, getting measured and all that fun hoohah.

I had to work tonight and thankfully I have amazing friends like Angela who was willing to watch Tobin even though she knew it was going to be a super late night. I didn’t end up getting out of work until 11pm.

Tips were great tonight and so was just about everything at work. I stayed busy and even had a few laughs. =]

I picked Tobin up and thankfullyhe was great for Angela even though he has a double ear infection. Poor little man. He had a blast playing with the girls. Apparantly he can’t get enough of Anyssa’s hair. (I don’t blame him. Gotta love those blonde curls)

We made it home safe && sound. Tobin fell right to sleep, but now I can’t.

I don’t like this feeling of coming home to an empty house.
Not seeing my husband the second I walk in.
Not seeing his smile and a hug from him.

I’m already crying && this isn’t even the beginning of the road.

I’ll have to pray for peace…and hugs from God.

I could really use a God hug right now.